We Have A Surgery Date

I went ahead and called Edie, the scheduling secretary at Shriners Hospital, even though the info. we had said that messages wouldn't be returned for two to four weeks. Lo and behold, Edie answered the phone and even had Abbey's paperwork on her desk. I was so surprised and excited.

She went ahead and scheduled the repair of Abbey's cleft palate for Thursday, October 29th, five days after her first birthday. Since it is still a good ways out, she said it could get changed if the surgeon has to go out of the country for something. (He's just that good of a surgeon.) We will need to be there on the day before at 10:00 for a full day of pre-op stuff. They will want her to stay three nights total: the night before and two nights after. So, if all goes well, we will come home on Halloween.

If she even has the slightest runny nose, we will have to postpone the surgery. Edie told me not to even bother coming. She has to be perfectly healthy for the week prior to the surgery. So, I think we will probably have a self-imposed quarantine for three weeks prior to the surgery.

For a ten days post-op, she will have to wear arm immobilizers so that she doesn't put her fingers in her mouth. We will be able to take them off for a few minutes here and there when she is highly supervised. Also, she won't be able to eat anything solid and must be fed with a syringe. I hear that the babies stay pretty hungry for those ten days. Sounds like fun, huh?

Despite the uncertainty, quarantine and post-op fun, I am thrilled that we get to have her surgery performed by such great doctors and specialists. I am really so thankful.

And now, here are a few recent pictures of the unsuspecting, precious girl:

Small Town Fourth

I forgot how fun the Fourth of July can be in our small town.

I must admit that when I moved here I was pretty skeptical. Every year growing up in Charlotte, we went to watch the big city display downtown. When I lived in Columbia, SC, I was amazed at the display at Fort Jackson. You can count on some serious fireworks on a military base. That was awesome.

So, when I moved here, where there is no official display, I was pretty bummed. I marveled at the six firework tents that went up by mid-June--six tents for a town of less than 5,000. Crazy. Keep in mind that fireworks are illegal in Memphis and Shelby County, so all those folks have to come out here to buy. It's kinda like how we Mecklenburg County folks had to go to SC to get our supplies. Still, six tents?

After tonight, I remember the wonder I had last year, and I understand a bit more about how six tents can make it. I stood in our back yard and watched fireworks bought by folks all over my neighborhood and others close by. At first, I couldn't decide whether to watch from the front yard or the back. When I decided the back was the best, I couldn't decide which way to look. There were showers of color in several directions. Some were small, others were surprisingly big. It wasn't coordinated. It wasn't set to music. It was just plain folks all around me enjoying the holiday in their own yards. I got to be the beneficiary. It was great!

The prelude was great, too. Last night, we set off our stash. Now we didn't buy any of the really big ones, but we had more than just bottle rockets and firecrackers. And, we had the freedom to do so without worrying about the police coming to write us a citation. Jack and Molly ran around the yard, back and forth from the street up to the safety of the front porch. Ed is so cautious with things that I was able to be fairly relaxed about it. It was so very fun!

Happy Fourth of July!

Tomorrow Is The Big Day.

(Some initial thoughts about this got published by mistake. I wanted to write a fuller version, so that I could refer back to it in the future. So, if you got a much shorter version of this, I apologize for the duplication.)

So, tomorrow is the big day. Jack starts first grade at Oakland Elementary School. We bought our school supplies. We have our official uniform compliant clothes laid out. We have yummy lunch box items ready to be packed. We visited the school today (on our own initiative, not for an open house). However, we do not know who his teacher will be.

I can't believe that we haven't gotten a letter, a call or been notified in some way. This morning I decided we should go up there, ask about it, and give Jack a chance to see his school. They said that parents would be welcome to accompany the children to the gym tomorrow morning, where they will be seated by grade level. Each teacher will then call out the names of the children in her class, and the children and parents will accompany her to the classroom. I sure am glad that I don't work outside the home. I mean, can you imagine sending your kids off on the bus not even knowing the name of your child's teacher?

We thought that homeschooling Jack last year went really well but have made this change for several reasons. So, before I start to question myself too much, wondering what on earth we have done, I need to get my reasons for making this change down in black and white. Then, I can refer back to this post as a reminder. So, here goes:

1. Our changing family situation: Ed and I decided to homeschool before we found out I was pregnant, much less having twins. It was great having Jack at home for most of the babies' first year. I think it would have been too much change for him to adjust to a new family situation at the same time as adjusting to a new school situation. Having him home allowed him to bond with his new sisters. Now, however, Abbey and Caroline are nine months old. We have adjusted, mostly. :o) They are about to become mobile, and that is a whole new ball game.

2. My stress and patience levels: I realized at the end of our school year that I was very stressed out. I would try to hurry through our school work so that we could be finished before the morning naps were done and so that I could move on to household things. Caring for two babies and managing a household of six takes me a lot of time. So, I often felt the time crunch. Adding homeschool into the mix made me even more stressed. And, like many others, when I am stressed I am not very fun to be around. We all know what they say about "when Mama ain't happy..."

3. My relationship with Jack and the others: Because of the stress, I often got way too impatient with Jack's inattention and dawdling. Even when he wanted to talk about connections he saw between what we were reading in his science book and another book we owned, I would get frustrated. I know that in my impatience and anger, I sinned against him a lot and did not foster the kind of learning environment that I had envisioned. While sending him to public school won't keep me from sinning against him, it will prevent us from having a perfect storm that could do permanent damage to our relationship.

4. Jack's attention problems: I don't know if he is a normal, fidgety, distracted six year old boy or if he has real attention problems. Regardless, he had trouble focusing on his work while Molly played and I tended to the babies. Keep in mind that the babies mostly needed comforting and bottles. This year however, they are going to need a lot of redirection as they become mobile and are able to get into everything. Jack doesn't do well with interruptions and loses his focus. So, homeschooling Jack while we have toddlers doesn't seem like a good mix. I don't know if going to an overcrowded public school will be any better, but at least it won't set us up for the perfect storm mentioned above. Also, it will provide a context where those trained in these things can give us some wisdom and guidance.

5. Socialization: First, I must say that I firmly believe the socialization argument against homeschooling is a myth. However, we think that at this time, in this place, homeschooling Jack prevented him from learning important social skills with peers. Since we live in a small town with limited extra-curricular options and go to a church with only a few other children, it has been hard for him to have opportunities to interact with a lot of other kids on a regular basis. We think going to Oakland Elementary will be good for him in many ways in this respect, although we do expect to have to deal with some negative consequences of this as well.

6. Confidence building: Jack is an anxious boy and is often insecure about trying new things. He leans on me, and even Molly, a bit more than I'd prefer. We think doing this all on his own will be great for him.

7. The Gospel: I think that having our kids in an environment where they interact with people who don't share our beliefs and values will teach them the beauty of the Gospel. They will better see the darkness and brokenness of the world and therefore the need for a Savior will shine brighter. It would be all too easy for us to shelter them and surround them with people who share our worldview, especially as a pastor's family. Experiencing diversity will help us teach them what we believe and why He matters.

I think those are all the reasons. So, as we go forward with this decision, I am reminded why I'm not teaching him here at home, even though I don't know who will be teaching him tomorrow at school.