Tomorrow Is The Big Day.

(Some initial thoughts about this got published by mistake. I wanted to write a fuller version, so that I could refer back to it in the future. So, if you got a much shorter version of this, I apologize for the duplication.)

So, tomorrow is the big day. Jack starts first grade at Oakland Elementary School. We bought our school supplies. We have our official uniform compliant clothes laid out. We have yummy lunch box items ready to be packed. We visited the school today (on our own initiative, not for an open house). However, we do not know who his teacher will be.

I can't believe that we haven't gotten a letter, a call or been notified in some way. This morning I decided we should go up there, ask about it, and give Jack a chance to see his school. They said that parents would be welcome to accompany the children to the gym tomorrow morning, where they will be seated by grade level. Each teacher will then call out the names of the children in her class, and the children and parents will accompany her to the classroom. I sure am glad that I don't work outside the home. I mean, can you imagine sending your kids off on the bus not even knowing the name of your child's teacher?

We thought that homeschooling Jack last year went really well but have made this change for several reasons. So, before I start to question myself too much, wondering what on earth we have done, I need to get my reasons for making this change down in black and white. Then, I can refer back to this post as a reminder. So, here goes:

1. Our changing family situation: Ed and I decided to homeschool before we found out I was pregnant, much less having twins. It was great having Jack at home for most of the babies' first year. I think it would have been too much change for him to adjust to a new family situation at the same time as adjusting to a new school situation. Having him home allowed him to bond with his new sisters. Now, however, Abbey and Caroline are nine months old. We have adjusted, mostly. :o) They are about to become mobile, and that is a whole new ball game.

2. My stress and patience levels: I realized at the end of our school year that I was very stressed out. I would try to hurry through our school work so that we could be finished before the morning naps were done and so that I could move on to household things. Caring for two babies and managing a household of six takes me a lot of time. So, I often felt the time crunch. Adding homeschool into the mix made me even more stressed. And, like many others, when I am stressed I am not very fun to be around. We all know what they say about "when Mama ain't happy..."

3. My relationship with Jack and the others: Because of the stress, I often got way too impatient with Jack's inattention and dawdling. Even when he wanted to talk about connections he saw between what we were reading in his science book and another book we owned, I would get frustrated. I know that in my impatience and anger, I sinned against him a lot and did not foster the kind of learning environment that I had envisioned. While sending him to public school won't keep me from sinning against him, it will prevent us from having a perfect storm that could do permanent damage to our relationship.

4. Jack's attention problems: I don't know if he is a normal, fidgety, distracted six year old boy or if he has real attention problems. Regardless, he had trouble focusing on his work while Molly played and I tended to the babies. Keep in mind that the babies mostly needed comforting and bottles. This year however, they are going to need a lot of redirection as they become mobile and are able to get into everything. Jack doesn't do well with interruptions and loses his focus. So, homeschooling Jack while we have toddlers doesn't seem like a good mix. I don't know if going to an overcrowded public school will be any better, but at least it won't set us up for the perfect storm mentioned above. Also, it will provide a context where those trained in these things can give us some wisdom and guidance.

5. Socialization: First, I must say that I firmly believe the socialization argument against homeschooling is a myth. However, we think that at this time, in this place, homeschooling Jack prevented him from learning important social skills with peers. Since we live in a small town with limited extra-curricular options and go to a church with only a few other children, it has been hard for him to have opportunities to interact with a lot of other kids on a regular basis. We think going to Oakland Elementary will be good for him in many ways in this respect, although we do expect to have to deal with some negative consequences of this as well.

6. Confidence building: Jack is an anxious boy and is often insecure about trying new things. He leans on me, and even Molly, a bit more than I'd prefer. We think doing this all on his own will be great for him.

7. The Gospel: I think that having our kids in an environment where they interact with people who don't share our beliefs and values will teach them the beauty of the Gospel. They will better see the darkness and brokenness of the world and therefore the need for a Savior will shine brighter. It would be all too easy for us to shelter them and surround them with people who share our worldview, especially as a pastor's family. Experiencing diversity will help us teach them what we believe and why He matters.

I think those are all the reasons. So, as we go forward with this decision, I am reminded why I'm not teaching him here at home, even though I don't know who will be teaching him tomorrow at school.