Merry Christmas

Ed's family was able to come celebrate Christmas with us this year.  We all went to the Christmas Eve service.  It was the second time Abbey and Caroline have gone to church.  The doctor gave us the okay for them to go now that they are past eight weeks old.

The girls were festive for their first Christmas.  It was good that we got the picture when we did.  Not too long later, Abbey threw up all over it.  Fun stuff!

We tried something new this year.  Instead of opening everything on Christmas morning, we only opened a few things. We are going to spread out the rest over the twelve days of Christmas.  We are hoping that this will decrease the materialistic focus of Christmas Day and help the kids to enjoy each gift more.  This way the gifts won't all be in a pile while the favorite toy gets all of the attention.  We also hope it will help them to remember who has given them each gift.  We will see how it goes.  It is just an experiment. 

Hope you had a great Christmas.  Abbey says, "HO HO HO!"

Life Lesson

Parenting provides lots of lessons about life.  These two girls are giving me lots of insight into my sin, but we won't go there right now.  :o)  The other night I learned a different sort of lesson from them.

It was probably around 11 pm, and I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep.  The girls were out in the den with Ed.  They were doing their crying duet--loudly. Despite the noise, I was able to lay down, relax and head off to sleep.  

It struck me that this was very different from other times when they are crying. Why was I able to relax instead of getting worked up?  I realized it was because Ed was in charge.  I didn't have to try to settle them.  My job was to sleep so that I could get up later in the night for my turn.  They were being cared for by their capable, loving father.    

Then the parallel struck me.  Isn't this what I am to do in life? The Lord has given me some things to do, and I am to leave the rest to Him trusting that He has it under control.  Often, I try to take up what isn't mine.  Instead of worrying and fretting, I am to relax and rest in Him.  

It makes me think of two verses.  The first is 1 Peter 5:7 which says, "Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."  The second is from Psalm 3, which is written by David when he is fleeing from Absolom.   In verse 5 he says, "I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me."  Someone once commented that David's ability to sleep in the midst of fleeing for his life was a testimony to his faith and trust in God's providential care.  

As my kids grow, I hope I can take this lesson to heart and rest, trusting the Father that loves and cares for me and the ones I love.  

Molly's Thoughts and My New Thigh Master

This morning I was sitting on the couch with my legs folded "criss-cross applesauce" style.  Caroline was in the hole created by my legs waiting her turn to eat and Abbey was propped on one leg and craddled in one arm while I gave her a bottle.  Molly woke up and joined us.  She sat there talking to Caroline and helping her wait patiently for her turn.  After a few minutes, Molly looks at me and says, "Having babies is fun."  Isn't that great?!  I am so glad for this attitude.  

While sitting there, Caroline began to get tired of waiting.  So, I started jostling my leg, as her head was propped on it.  This seemed to soothe her a bit.  I kept it up intermittently.  It wasn't too long before I realized I was going to be hurting a bit the rest of the day.  My eight pound, four ounce baby is a great thigh master.  (And just so you know, her sister is the light version, weighing in at seven pounds and  ten ounces, as of her eight week appointment last week.)  Sorry, you won't be able to find these in stores this Christmas.

Not Firing On All Cylinders

So far since having the twins I have:

1.  Gone the wrong way down a one way street because I didn't notice there was a median

2.  Started to shower with my glasses on

3.  Wondered why the phone wasn't hanging up, only to find that I was pushing the power button on the pump rather than the phone

4.  Almost hung up the phone on my friend, instead of turning off the pump

5.  Searched around the house for five minutes looking for my hands-free phone headset, only to realize it was on my head already

Gotta get more sleep.  :o)

Respite

Thanks to Ed, I got a real treat yesterday.  I got to take Molly to school alone.  That means we could just walk out to the van, hop in and go.  She could talk all that she wanted without any interruptions--no crying sisters, no interrupting big brother.  

Then I got to leave two and a half hours early for my eye appointment, armed with $20 for a yummy lunch.  Since I was already going "in to town" for my appointment, I decided to go to the new Panera and enjoy some of the food that I had been missing since leaving St. Louis.   Then I went to Barnes and Noble, got some yummy coffee, read a book and wandered around.  Finally, I went to the mall for my appointment.  As I was walking in and seeing the people and the holiday decorations, I couldn't help but smile.  It was great to be free for a few hours. 

At the outset, Ed said he wanted me to have a respite.  It was a wonderful break!  I came home ready to feed the hungry and comfort the fussy, all thanks to Ed.  

Surreal

Abbey and Caroline turned six weeks on Friday!   

I went to the doctor for my six week check-up last Thursday.  As I was checking out and making an appointment for December 2009, I couldn't believe it.  No more weekly visits.  Did I really just go through nine--rather, eight--months of pregnancy with twins?  Did I birth them and survive the NICU experience?  Could they really be six weeks already?  

It is true, but I can't believe it.  

(On a side note, I may have to go back to the doctor in a month if my incision doesn't finish healing.  There is one little spot that won't knit together all the way.  She said give it a month.  If that doesn't work, then I'll have to go in for her to fix it.  That means "numbing me up, cutting a wedge, and resewing it."  Sounds like fun, huh?  Please pray that I can avoid this.  Thanks!)

How to Irritate a Baby

First you begin feeding the baby.  Then, when she stops for a break, decide to change her diaper and her clothes.  Then, realize it is her one month birthday and decide to do a photo shoot, alone, with her twin and with her older siblings.  Below is the result.  (Special thanks to Jessie for the adorable outfits.)

Sisters

Here are some pictures from the past week and a half.  It is hard to believe that the girls will be a month old on Monday.  We are getting along well and have been enjoying our time with them both at home.  Of course, having Ed's mom, MaryAnn, here to help with feedings, housework, entertainment of Jack and Molly, general encouragement and adult company sure helped!  I hope we are able to enjoy the coming days just as much, despite holding down the fort on our own.

I love this picture of Ed and Caroline, as it gives perspective on her small size.  She isn't much bigger than his hand!

This picture shows Abbey's special feeder.  It is called a SpecialNeeds Feeder and used to be called a Haberman Feeder.  That top part is soft, so you can squeeze it into her mouth as she sucks.  You can see that MaryAnn is holding her close to upright.  You have to do this, rather than letting her lay back in the crook of your arm.  If you don't, she is more likely to have some come through the hole in her palate and out through her nose.  It doesn't happen often, but it is certainly unpleasant when it does.  She cries and sometimes decides she doesn't want to eat anymore.

Here they are together.  Caroline is on the left and Abbey on the right.  They look different when you have them together.  But, sometimes it is hard to tell when they are separate.  We have had some trouble identifying pictures.  I think they look more similar at some angles.  

Sweet Caroline!  We took them to the doctor yesterday.  Caroline has now surpassed her sister in weight.  The doctor was very pleased to see that she is now 6lbs. 4oz, up from her birth weight of 4lbs 13oz.  

Precious Abbey!  She is gaining weight well, too.  Her current weight is 6 lbs 2 oz.  It takes her longer to eat, and she doesn't eat as much.  Plus, she cries more so that probably expends more energy than her sleeping sister.  She is getting better about her sensitivity to too much sensory input, but she still gets overwhelmed more easily.
Can you tell who is who?  Abbey is in the hat.  Just kidding, that is Caroline.  
And, here is the big sister sporting her new dress from Mimi.  Isn't she precious?  She is really loving her sisters and still wanting to help.  
I could write more, but I need to run.  They will both be awaking for food in just a few minutes.  I need to head them off at the pass.  :o)

Some Photos

Okay, so I didn't get the pictures up yesterday.  I am sure it won't be the first time I don't accomplish the thing or things on my to do list.  But, I did feed and soothe two babies all day.  I'd call that a big accomplishment!  

Here are some pictures.  I am not thrilled with many of them.  The camera flash bothers the girls, who sleep most of the time, so our chances are limited.  And, the pictures are out of order, again.  I'll get this blog thing down soon.

The following is a picture of both girls at home with us.  I am holding Caroline on my right side and Abbey on my left.  I know this picture makes it hard to tell how much they do or do not look alike.  Sorry, hopefully more to come on that front.

This is a very blurry picture of Abbey.  But, I included it, because you can kind of see her cleft palate.  It is the darker red part (i.e., hole) in the roof of her mouth.  Our first appointment with the ENT from the Cleft Palate team is in mid December.  I am sure we will find out more information then.

We were nervous to leave the medical oversight, but so glad to bring our girl home.

Here is a sweet one of Abbey as we were getting ready to leave the hospital.  One of the members of our church, Paula McLellan, made the bonnet for Abbey.  (She also made one for Caroline.)  The girls can take it apart and use it as a handkerchief at their weddings.  It will be "something old".  Isn't it beautiful?

So, those are the pictures for now.  We are getting along okay.  Abbey hasn't been taking her full feedings since we came home, but she is better today than yesterday.  I think part of it is the transition.  Our house is a lot more stimulating than the NICU.  She has gained weight, according to the rental scale they sent home with us.  So, I am not too worried.  

My main concern is that Molly now has the fever that Jack got over and Ed has had a relapse of his cold.  Please pray for them and that we can keep the babies fever free.  When Jack and Molly were babies, the doctor said that a fever in a less than 3 mth old automatically meant a hospital admission.  I don't know if they would be more lenient on us, knowing the fever was from a sibling.  I certainly don't want to have to find out.  

Thanks again for your interest, encouragement and prayers.  The Lord is using them to sustain us during this precious, exhausting time.

We are all home!

Just  a quick note to say that I did get to "room in" with Abbey last night.  We did well enough with the feedings for her to come home today.  Yippee!  Caroline has gotten a bit of the cold the rest of us have had, so we have to keep them apart for a bit longer.  I am really hoping that tomorrow I can post some pictures of Abbey's homecoming and of her beautiful face without the tube.  

One other exciting thing happened today.  Jack lost his first tooth!  I will include more about that tomorrow, or whenever I can get the next round of photos up.  For now, I need to go get an hour or two of sleep before they eat again.

Thanks for your prayers for the feeding and rooming-in.  Please keep them up, as we are still learning and need to make sure we can continue to get Abbey the calories that she needs.   Thanks!

Progress

Abbey has been making some progress with her bottle feeding.  She took four full feedings in a row by bottle yesterday evening/night.  That is really great for her, as she hasn't been consistent at all before this.  The neonatologist said if she continues to take her bottles, then she may be able to go home on Sunday.  Unfortunately, she was too tired to take a full bottle from me today at the 12:00 and 4:00 feedings.  

If she takes bottles tonight and tomorrow morning, I am going to spend tomorrow night and "room in" with her.  I am skeptical that she will be ready for that, but we will see.  Please pray that she will at least take one full bottle from me tomorrow, even if she isn't ready to room in.  

The last piece of good news is that they removed her nasal gastric tube.  They may have to reinsert it, if she continues to be inconsistent.  But, it was wonderful to see my sweet girl's face without the tape and tube.  I wish I'd had my camera.  Maybe tomorrow.  

Thanks for keeping up with us.  

The Week in Review

First. let me say that I am sorry the pictures are out of order.  I don't really have time to fix it, so it will have to stay this way.  

It was great for Jack and Molly to have some normalcy that was unassociated with Caroline and Abbey.  For Halloween, Molly dressed as a snow princess.  Jack was going to be a Power Ranger, but we couldn't find his pants.  So, he just wore the shirt.  Costuming just didn't take as high of a priority this year.  Ed dressed up and took them down the street.

Thursday night, the night Caroline came home, we were able to carve our Jack-o-Lanterns.  The best thing about it was that Jack stuck his hands in the pumpkin and helped clean out the goo.  That is amazing progress for our sensory sensitive boy!

Mom had to go back home on Tuesday afternoon.  This picture is her last visit with Abbey.  Abbey is still in the NICU working on consistently taking a whole bottle.  She has done it some, but it is far from consistent.  

Caroline came home on last Thursday.  You can see that the kids were very interested in checking her out.  They have done well welcoming her into our family.  Molly is especially interested in helping with all aspects.  Unfortunately, we have all passed around a cold.  Hence the face masks.
This is the before photo from the day I delivered, or maybe the night before.  Keep in mind this was only 34 weeks.  I can not imagine going all the way.  I am healing well and am sooo glad the girls are outside my body now.
This is right when Caroline came home.  Remember that Jack and Molly had not seen her at all until the day before, when they just got a glance through the NICU window.  Jack thinks she is so cute and tiny.  
Please keep up your encouragement and prayers.  We are hanging in there, but I am certainly getting weary.  I am trying to enjoy these precious days to the max.

A Quick Update

Hey everyone.  I am sorry that I haven't been in touch since before Abbey and Caroline were born.  Things have been very hectic, to say the least.  I have been trying to manage eating, resting/healing, visiting the girls in the NICU every four hours and pumping milk for them every 2 to 3 hours.  Since I came home yesterday, I have added in spending time with Jack and Molly and traveling back and forth to the hospital.  That hasn't left time for me to call you and update you on their births or status since.  I really don't have much time now, as I spent the majority of the day at the hospital and am spent.  But, I can't stand not touching base.  

The current status is that Caroline is doing very well.  I asked the doc today about a timetable for length of stay, and she replied that she could come home today.  That sent me for a loop, as we were not thinking that she would be coming home so soon.  But, the Lord must have known that we couldn't handle that quick of a turnaround.  The discharge nurse had almost completed her paperwork and Caroline's heart rate dropped a bit.  So, she it there for tonight.  They are hoping to send her home tomorrow, maybe on a heart rate monitor.  She will breast feed twice a day and then bottle feed a combo of breast milk and formula the other times.  They are so young that they only eat every 4 hours at this point, but I still have to pump every 2 to 3.

Abbey is having a harder time.  She is having trouble with her sucking.  They discovered today, that part of it could be due to the fact that she has a cleft palate.  Part of it is she just isn't ready.  They did check for heart murmurs, which can accompany clefts, and she is fine in that regard.  She will get an ultrasound of her brain tonight to see if there are any problems there.  I don't think they suspect anything and this is more of a precaution.  I sure  hope so.  Also, we hope she will be able to bottle and breast feed soon.  If so, she won't have to have any surgery until 9 months or so.  Because of her trouble feeding, she won't be coming home just yet.

Jack and Molly are doing okay.  Molly is missing me a lot, it seems.  She told my mom that she needed to leave, because she wanted me and Ed to be here every night and every morning.  Jack understands things better, so he is hanging in there.  They got to see the girls through the NICU window today for the first time.  Until today, they have been hooked up to IVs, so they were tethered.  Today, Abbey and Caroline were free to roam.  :o)

Ed and I are very tired, as is my mom.  It is logistically difficult and fairly draining.  Thankfully, the girls are very healthy compared to their friends in the NICU, so it hasn't been too heavy of a burden.  Even still, we covet your prayers for health, safety, patience and energy.  

Thanks for reading and caring.  I hope I can write more later and maybe add a photo.  Good night.

Today Is The Day!

Well, the fluids didn't increase.  So, my ob scheduled the C-section for 4:00 CST today.  I'm going to try to get a bit of rest right now before we have to report to the hospital.  We spent 3 hours there last night, so I didn't get much sleep then.  Please pray for all of us.  Thanks!  

It Could Be Tomorrow

Well, I went to the ob today for my ultrasound and check-up.  The ultrasound technician measured Abbey at 5 lbs. and Caroline at 5 lbs. 6 oz.  She even saw hair on Abbey's head.  So, those are great weights.  Their heart beats are good and their chests are making breathing movements.  

The iffy part is that Caroline's amniotic fluid is low.  The cut off is 5 and she is in the 4 range.  I told both the doc and the ultrasound tech that the past two nights I had thought that I might be leaking fluids, but that it was just a little bit.  They couldn't detect any traces of fluid while I was in the office.  

My ob gave me two options.  One was to go to the hospital and let them monitor me until tomorrow.  The other was to come home and monitor myself until tomorrow.  If I have any signs of leakage, I am to go to the hospital.  I chose this option.  Regardless, tomorrow morning, I will have another ultrasound to check the fluid level.  If it is still low, I will be admitted to the hospital.  

If I am admitted, the ob said she would probably go ahead and do the C-section then.  We are still in that bit of gray zone, where it would be better if they stayed inside.  But, if the fluid is low, then that isn't good either.  Since I had the steroid shots last week and since we are almost out of the gray zone, then the ob thinks delivery would be the best.  So, we will see.

I am not sure how I feel about this.  I am kind of hoping that we get to see our girls tomorrow, but I am pretty apprehensive about it, too.  I am DREADING the operation and concerned about NICU time.  But, there is a big part of me that will be sad if I come home tomorrow from the appointment.  Ultimately, I am glad that it is in the Lord's hands to increase the fluids or not.  I will try to rest in that.  

Speaking of rest, I am going to go lay down.  I feel some contractions, not unlike the ones I have felt most of the past several weeks.  Please pray for us and wisdom for the doctor.  Thanks!

Four Hours at Baptist

I fretted about calling my doctor yesterday from about 10 am until about 3 pm.  I woke up for the second day in a row feeling extra tired.  The frequency and pain I felt in going to the bathroom seemed a bit more than just pregnancy related.  I felt menstrual-like cramps in my lower abdomen, but they were both subtle and inconsistent.  So, do I call the doc. on Saturday and risk having to go to the hospital or not?  Do I find someone to watch the kids and kill our afternoon just because I was uncomfortable?  Do I risk going and being told nothing is really wrong, I'm just pregnant with twins?  Do I risk not going and put my girls at risk?  Finally, after not being able to nap, I decided to call the OB and like I suspected, she sent me to Baptist Women's Labor and Delivery to be checked out.

They hooked me up in all sort of ways--two baby heart monitors, one contraction monitor, a blood pressure cuff and an iv.  It took awhile to locate the contractions on the monitor.  All the while I'm thinking, "Ok, so I am just a dork and these pains are not really contractions.  I over-reacted and worried too much."  Then the RN found them, and indeed they were 5 minutes apart.  I couldn't feel all of them, so I wasn't in much discomfort.  But, now I was concerned about what this meant.  They thought the contractions were due to dehydration.  So, they gave me half a bag of fluid.  Instead of stopping, the contractions increased to every 4 minutes.  They checked my cervix and found it closed.  So, that was a huge relief.  

Next they put more stock into my urinary complaints.  They came back with results from my urinalysis.  My doctor said it looked pretty bad and the UTI was most likely what was causing the contractions.  So, they gave me a shot of something to stop the contractions.  It didn't stop them all the way, so they gave me a second one.  That one worked.  Unfortunately, a side effect is an increased heart rate and shaking.  So, they sent me home shaky with a prescription for an antibiotic and instructions to lay low today.  So, I have been laying low.

I felt like it was a great result.  I am not a wimpy hypochondriac.  My girls are not at danger of coming early, since they discovered and are treating the infection.  There is hope that I will feel better than I have once the antibiotic clears up my UTI.  So, it was a profitable four hours!   

Autumn Has Arrived

Last week was a fun start to October.  Due to my comfort level wandering around in the fields, we decided to use Molly's preschool class' field trip as our annual pumpkin patch trip.  It was just a local farmer's patch.  There were no hayrides, corn mazes, playgrounds, petting zoos or food for sale.  It was just sunshine, dirt, pumpkins and lots of running around.  It was great.  Plus, we got 2 large pumpkins and 12 fun small pumpkins and gourds for $10.  You gotta love Fayette County!  Here are a few pictures:

Two days after our pumpkin patch adventure, we got to go to our town's fall festival, Oakland in October.  It was another event that made small town life endearing.  The local candidates were there in the "political bull-pen"; there was a bluegrass band, complete with our mandolin-playing friend, Harry; the local rescue workers with their trucks open for display; a variety of vendors and some fun things to do for the kids.  Molly was brave enough to take a ride on Red the Pony.  I think it was her first time on a horse.  They both talked Ed into riding the wagon/hay ride.  I wish I had gotten a picture of him on it.  But, these will have to suffice:

Happy Fall!

Molly's New Look

You know I usually rest in the same room as Molly to be sure that she doesn't get into any trouble.  Well, now that she is four, we have gotten a little looser on things, so Ed was working in the garage while the kids and I were resting in our separate rooms.

Now keep in mind that the guest room, where Molly rests, is a bit of a disaster because of random drawers we are storing in there until we can paint them. Molly decided to check out the content of the drawers...and found some scissors. They were fairly small scissors, easy for a young four year old to use. So, she quietly set about her work and cleaned up the mess afterwards.

When I got up from my rest, I looked at her scrunched on the couch.  I thought to myself, "Molly looks like she has bangs. Molly doesn't have bangs. Isn't that something that her hair is tucked just right for me to see what she would look like with bangs and shorter hair?" Silly me. Later, as I went to stroke her nice long locks, it became clear:

Yes, that is seven inches gone!  Now the pictures were taken after I removed the three rat tails that she has left in the back. The rest is totally her own work.  I must say, she did a pretty decent job.  Of course, it was on Sunday afternoon, the day before most salons are closed all day.  So, we waited until today to shape things up a bit.  Here is her new look:

Rest assured that all the scissors are now hidden.

So, I've Finally Done It!

Yes, the time has finally come where I have decided to start a blog.  

I have been contemplating doing it for a long time.  Part of me doesn't want to, because it seems cliche.  I don't have time to read all of my friends' blogs, so why add one more to the blogosphere?  Then there is the argument that it will really reduce communication between me and my friends.  I agree that this will probably be the case for some.  And the jury is still out about whether I will really have time to actually post anything.

So, why am I diving in?  I really love keeping up on the day to day affairs of friends I have moved away from.  I loved being able to get to see and know Becky's baby, KB, before I met her. I love being able to show Jack and Molly pictures of all their St. Louis friends so that the memories don't die.  I think it is awesome that we can see pictures of Jessie's new life in Brooklyn so that we can picture her in her goings and comings.  It makes me feel connected and a part of their lives.

It makes me sad that our lives are a question mark to so many family and friends.  They don't get to see the recent pictures of our kids or hear about our activities.  With Abbey and Caroline on the way, it seems even more important.  I want our family and friends to know these new additions to our family, even though it may be months or years before they ever meet them.  This blog will give anyone who is interested a way to check in with us and our growing family.  I hate being separated by the miles and the lack of time to keep up with everyone individually.  Hopefully this blog will fill in the gaps.